UNANSWERED QUERIES

                             

             I have this strong urge to write each and everything, every minute detail related not just to my life but everything related to the whole universe. From the start to the end all interest me a lot.  It can be said inquisitiveness that I am and that’s what keeps me alive.

             Isn’t this universe an amazing place? It’s a game called ‘bhul bhulaiyaa’ a maze where you are trapped once entered inside but to come out no intelligence can lead you to exit except when god calls. Let’s talk about planet earth? It is like somebody asking you who came first in this planet hen or egg? Ponder over… is it easy for you to answer? Well then you can explain to me.  According to me it’s a very complicated question for which I am trying very hard to find but ultimately I give up. Still again and every time it resurfaces my mind to haunting me snatching all peace of my mind from here starts my family and my problem.

              In this way there are many questions that are left unanswered like why we have sun rising in the east? Why moon always shines in night. Why do we die? Why we are born? Why we human are social animal? And much more Yeah, we do have myths related to these questions, many grandmother stories in process from generations followed.  Oh I do think but there are many other priorities that have to be fulfilled before I start researching. Debates are waiting from my side to start when once all our settled in the living room as they are always unavoidable for me. Many such quests are such that unless I don’t discuss and show my intelligence I couldn’t have deep peaceful slumber. My inquisitiveness and pretentiousness has been famous as dim-witted and foolish as they are people living in the practical world happy with the questions left unanswered.

              My mind no wonders it doesn’t stop thinking, it’s moving towards the great topic related to politics, history, geography science etc. no, not science because science has its own proven theory about each and every problems undoubtedly, keep on changing every successive years. I for one happy with the thought of the opportunity I shall receive to start a conversation with intelligence,  perhaps thinking it may be the hot topics of discussions for my friends and foes( because they are irritated by my arguments still smiling irritated wondering about my sanity). Feeling happy with the attitude I am smarter than you I start, is Chidambaram our home minister responsible for 2g scam? Is Obama a right president of the first nation America? Related to this question another question my mind has prepared for irritated glance is why America is known as the first nation?  People around me wonder not about the debate but about my sanity.  

              Here in the scene enters my poor family members frustrated with the inquiries about my sane mentality, poor husband and my children simply mad answering them and irked by my behavior waiting for an explanation and pleading to keep my mouth  and mind shut but how can I…     

Dilemma

On the lane of thoughts
Lines of words passing through
Overcrowding and jumbling
Building chaos and anxiety
on the lane of thoughts.

Anxious and confused
Tears roll on the sheet
Not sure of my words and rhyme
yet my heart instigating me to write.

As tears roll down
on whiteness of the sheet
I find my words rhyming up
and my poems
well, piling up.

pages from my diary

“I cannot give them sight but I can be the light of their life

I cannot make them see the beauty of their face but I can make them feel their inner beauty, 

it makes no difference who invented bulbs to them but I can make them discover the light within them, 

they have never seen how a weaver birds build their nest but I can make them weave their dreams to achieve them, 

they have never seen the birds fly but I am sure I can be the wings to help them fly towards their goals”.

This is not the poem of any famous poet but a fact that has changed the perception of my life. This I realize from the day when I stepped into their world. A day I cannot forget- on recommendation of my friend I entered into the office of a blind school. A young beautiful, fair girl with very attractive eyes about twenty years of age sitting in front of the computer and typing. I asked her for the principal of the school and gave her my introduction and my intention of working with them as a reader and an English teacher with course on personality development. She told me to take a seat and said he will be coming very soon i sat there and started observing the crowd standing outside the office waiting for the principal out of them few were blind just then my attention was drawn   by the sound of a computer pronouncing every letter typed by the girl and the girl had put her head very close to the computer and typing. Later on a girl was searching for a paper

Which was fallen on the ground she asked me whether I can help her to find? I looked at her in dismay because the paper was very close to her leg suddenly she blurted out, “Oh, I forgot to tell you that I am blind.” Heaven fell upon me, how can this be possible, a girl with such attractive eyes cannot see? In disbelief I candidly told her about my thoughts she agreed and told, “you are not the first one to be deceived by my eyes or beauty.” Astounded I was speechlessly looking at her, thousand thoughts running and rushing on the surface of my brain, not understanding whether to thank god for my sight or curse him for the poor girl, close to me, gifted with beautiful eyes with no light in it. All darkness, no sight to admire her own beauty or god’s other gift as nature. After a while I met the principal who himself was blind but very intelligent handling the whole school’s administration. After exchanging few words I was soon appointed as an honorary reader and teacher in that school. I whole heartedly started working for the blind students  gradually I realized that it is me who is a learner, they are my teachers to teach me - the way to handle the most bitter truth of life though the truth is very bitter still the life is very beautiful and lived with laughter and smiles. They are my teacher to teach me to count on my blessings and not cry for the things I am deprived off. On the contrary I am the one who has taken personality development classes from them. I am indeed very fortunate to get the opportunity to serve them & fill theirs and mine life with joy. This aspect has changed the perspective to look at my life differently. I have pledge to do as much as possible for the less fortunate ones and contribute to make the world a beautiful place to live in.

DEFINITON OF LOVE

          In school we were taught love to be a verb as for instance “I love” but it does make one ponder that this statement is incomplete without an object, this love has to be transited somewhere, it requires an object so to fulfill this we do focus our love on an object and ultimately we do fix an  object  that is called relationship like friendship, parenthood, husband- wife etc. this love is stopped on it, nothing remains in one’s life his whole being is focused on fulfillment of  desires of the person whom one loves. We have created a wall in the name of relationship, our love’s flow is bound up to a certain limit. We have set up our limit but love being a verb will flow randomly in its boundary this love being flowing in a limited space causes friction after sometime. It has to be freed otherwise we are struggling to be free from its clutches due to suffocation, this love if not ventilated will pollute and strain the relation. It will try to find a leakage or an outlet for its flow, to move freely just as water and air it needs an outlet when the air in the balloon is more than required it burst or if there is an outlet it will flow from it and mingle in the air outside the balloon in this way water will also find its way to flow it cannot be stopped so is love it cannot be confined to the walls of relationship and if it is confined it makes the man selfish and arrogant by nature he will only think of the person to whom his love has been confined. This love than makes a world very difficult place to live, even we have god’s love flowing in all directions without any biases towards anyone of us his love is selfless without any suffocation or say any expectation. Just as god loves us we have to love the people of the earth than only we can claim true love. Love for everyone, selfless love.

            We ‘manu’ have made everything complicated by giving name to our relationship and setting a boundary for our love it has to be free from all attachments  then we can  claim  yes, we are in love, love for every living creatures. The object of our love should not be for human but for all living being as in the religion of Jainism its explained. Love should be detached and feelings should have no disparities thus in this way we can keep ourselves away of the hurt that people inflict on us. If this attitude towards love we maintain than we can say we have conquered the world.

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Hail democracy!

In the hands of the terrorists
is our country been laid
by the mercy of our ministry
Made them the predators
Reigning supreme
Simply by few terrorist act,
Impotent has been our democracy
By the war between
Communism and secularism
Has put millions of lives at stake
For their vested interest
They sold their mother to the few
And took the lives of thousands
On the corpses of all the dead
They still believe to rule our country
Hail democracy!!!

A silent voice

for nine months, in your womb, I dwelled
so lovingly and carefully, I was nurtured
every moment, I lived and cherished
without any sorrow and worries.
Not once had I thought
what fate had in stored for me?
Soon as I became a part of a family
I was laid to rest, forever peacefully
Unaware with the fact,
I was born to be a girl
a girl child, a curse to my people
who already were blessed with it.
Being a silent spectator
in a crime very heinous
not once also you thought?
A blood flowing in me, is your blood
A flesh of mine, is part of yours
As your other siblings, I too had a feeling
Though unable to express all in words
Silently, I suffered all pain and agony
Others had inflicted, all upon me.
Oh mother tell me, not once also
did your heartache for me?
Not once also did you feel
your soul in me.
Why had you silently
let everyone decide?
Destiny of my life
as nobody has rights
to take any life.

But mother, tell me what was my fault?
Was I given privileged to be a chooser?
Then I would have chosen to be as you wished.
And, why was I nurtured so dearly!

As I was destined to die?

Monotony

Every morning!

Chirping of birds that everyone loves to hear!

Feel it should stop or should I shut my ears!

Can the people work like machines!

Every morning,

The sun cascades its rays on the earth,

Every morning chirping of the happy birds,

And all the people run to work

Makes me wonder!

How on earth can all the creatures,

Hither and thither, go through their daily chores?

Happily, not tired of their boring routine

Work throughout the day endlessly!

Sometimes inspiring or say boring,

This daily routine monotony of life,

CHARITY BEGINS FROM HOME

Everyone in our country talks about corruption, cleanliness, discipline, corruption and last but not least our democracy. “Charity begins from home” ask the people how much they owe to all or how much is every individual responsible for it. We blame our system, our government and the people all around us, ourneighbours- for cleanliness in our surrounding, my neighbors and I are always on verge of war for the dustbin outside in the premises, blaming and accusing one another sometimes even throwing the dustbins down not bothered who is made the victim of our rage? Lateron sitting in the drawing room we discuss about cleanliness, isn’t it an irony? soon realizing my folly I started keeping my dustbin inside to be taken by the cleaner. After two days I saw my neighbours dustbin also to be not found anywhere outside in the premises. Though this incidence being a small issue but can make us realize how important it is to start with these small issues. In the same way lets take corruption how many of us jump the signal break the traffic rules and try to bribe the traffic police then sitting in our drawing room we talk about other corrupted people, like all school children if we all are made to raise our hands for not being involved in any petty issues regarding breaking rules I think we see not a single hand raised because we all know our stand.

In any government organization or anywhere in India how many of them are punctual or disciplined? worse in the government organizations or public sectors, workers are always found to be on strike an alibi to stay away from work, to hike the salary or improve the quantity of the facilities available without doing much to increase the profit of the company adding the last straw on the back by holidaying on all festivals related to them or not? They are not the people from the outside world aliens but they are from us that are we then why blame others how many of stand in the queue waiting for our turns? Yes we do stand but trying to find out someone who can take us out from this predicament or ready to bribe or simply by taking out our anger on the person standing in front of us by making him imbalance by a hard push and staring at him for the reason well known to all of us.

Many of us talk about government, our democracy our politicians but we are the people who have chosen the path given the politicians the power to rule us and why forget they are the people amongst us? We must not forget to use our vote sensibly and to vote for the right man and to know and learn about their good work before choosing them. It is the responsibility of all of us to follow all the rules and regulations and follow what we want them to do for us to make the working of the country efficient and smooth.

POEMS BY KALPANA

A journey of life

Confined, in my house

In solitude, I lay

Silently, I introspect

All the aspects of my life,

In the stage,

Past being left far behind

And future ahead meaningless.

Happiness and sorrows that were

Shared and bared,

Pains and agony

That crossed through

The path of brightness.

Many faces that came and left

Many changes folded unfolded

Thousands sunrises and sets

That I experienced,

Throughout seemed ageless.

Downfalls that were handled

With courage and dignity,

But at the end of the journey

Is the pain and separation

Of all the near and dear ones,

Leaving me far behind

Confine four walls of my house.